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Sports Fans: You Can Thank Me Later

Posted by on 31 January 2010, 1:21 am

It’s almost time for baseball fans to get back to work, as the season is right around the corner. If you want something to pass your time with below is a website of spoof sports articles. Trust this fan that this is worth checking out. Please click on link below or read the humorous article mocking the Yankees below.

Serious Sports News Network

Here is an article from their classics section to give you an idea:

Yankees buy title

NEW YORK, NY — Despite the fact that George Steinbrenner’s Yankee organization has outspent most of the third world combined, they haven’t made it to the World Series in more than three years. With all else failing, the eccentric owner decided that enough was enough – instead of buying players to win a World Series, he has decided to simply buy the World Series Championship itself, leaving nothing to chance.

On Wednesday, Major League Baseball officials confirmed the sale of the 2007 World Series title to the Yankees for a reported $1.5 billion, with an option to purchase the 2008 title for an additional $2.5 billion. “It’s a great day for Yankees fans everywhere, and we feel that we got one hell of a bargain from the MLB. Top THAT Boston!” Steinbrenner hollered from TV screens around the country.

Specifics of the deal are still sketchy at the moment, but it seems the season will go on as planned. The Yankees will play their regular schedule this year; however, they will be given a 55 run lead at the start of every game and will set the starting lineup of their opposition. If that wasn’t enough, pitchers cannot throw over seventy miles per hour and must throw it directly down the middle of the plate.

Manager Joe Torre is letting the fans know that despite this obvious advantage, the team will face some challenges this season. “Owning the championship ahead of time will benefit us; I’m not going to lie about that. But one thing we can’t control is the weather, and everyone knows that can dictate the outcome of any game – even if you are winning by 55,” the skipper warned with a self-important smirk.

The Yankees will now be the first franchise in history to have a realistic shot at a perfect season, and will undoubtedly rewrite the record book as they progress through the year. The deal also allows the Yankees to name the World Series MVP now, and Steinbrenner decided to bestow the honor upon team captain Derek Jeter. “I’d like to thank Mr. Steinbrenner and MLB for this honor, and also my teammates for giving everything they- er, for everything they are going to give this season. It just goes to show you hard work does pay off,” Jeter told reporters in the locker room as he bounced a supermodel on his knee.

According to league sources, Alex Rodriguez was the runner up in MVP voting – with Steinbrenner predicting he will finish an astounding 24-24 at the plate with 22 home runs and 55 RBI – thereby vindicating himself for years of post-season failure. “Even though some fans have doubted me all these years, and screamed for the team to get rid of me, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I proved the kind of player I am. It’s going to be a very rewarding experience; one that I’ll cherish forever,” A-Rod said, wiping away tears of joy with hundred-dollar bills.

MLB also made an exception for first baseman Jason Giambi at the request of Steinbrenner: they will no longer test him for performance enhancing drugs and will allow Jose Canseco in the locker room as his personal trainer. “It’s about time the league wizened up and realized that fans love the raw Italian power that my natural supplements bring,” the pimply-faced slugger said as Jose plunged a syringe deep into his posterior.

Fans will have the opportunity to purchase Yankees 2007 World Series Championship merchandise starting on opening day at Yankee Stadium, or on MLB.com.

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The Yankees Could Be Moving On Up….A Ton

Posted by on 8 December 2009, 2:52 am

The Yankees are about as tight lipped as Tiger Woods, regarding who the team’s biggest crush is on right now.

For the Yankees, it is more of a guessing game involving just a few names, a love contract and a new outfit.

“Tiger-Land” is the small country forming by the list of the Woods-Women is growing. This is at such a pace Woods could have his own 40-roaster before Cashman ever says a word.

Over in Yankee-Universe, the rides are getting older and the team needs to get some youth for next season.

This is not saying ability is based on age. Mariano Rivera is living proof at 40, along with 34-year-old Jeter who had a career year, and Arod who is the same age, has not even reached his ultimate potential.

Lately, as I read rumors everyday I started to go over stats, age, ability and attitude. A fact is that the team’s ability is undeniable heading into 2010 season but with some fresh stock it could be even greater.The Yankees need a player who….

1. Is a young, under the age of 26 would be nice.
2. Has played more then one season in the Majors.
3. Already displays obvious talent.
4. Has the potential to exceed expectations with some direction.
5. Needs to be an Outfielder.
6. *Fast On The Bases

*big factor

Tampa Bay Ray’s BJ Upton could solve this problem, with a close second going to St. Louis Cardinal’s Matt Holliday. BJ Upton is just 24 years old and had a good season considering he is coming off major shoulder surgery.

Upton’s 2009 season stats finished with a batting averageof.241, OBP .313, 55 RBI, 79 runs scores and an astonishing 42 stolen bases. His 2007 season was his best, hitting 24 home runs in addition to 82 RBI.

No one will deny the potential for this youngster and with the right direction the results could be enormous.Upton is Rays starting center fielder.

His range defensively is excellent but he has seemed sluggish and lazy more then just on one occasion. It would seem that a move to another ball club is just the spark this kid needs.

Upton ended 2009 season by dazzling the Bombers, as he hit for a cycle on a night when CC Sabathia was starting at the Trop. This was a first in regards to HUGE achievements for the youngster, and the first for the Rays organization as well.

What a nice confidence booster going into the off-season and gives BJ a lot to think about. Upton has the potential to be a big star. His attitude just needs some guidance and no better place to get it than in the Bronx. Continue reading ‘The Yankees Could Be Moving On Up….A Ton’ »

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ALCS Game Three: Home Is Where The Walk-Off Is

Posted by on 20 October 2009, 3:27 am

Tonight the Angels status went from zero, back on in this ALCS,  with the team’s walk-off win.

The Yankees are still a game up but the dream of a sweep and an easy way out from the L.A. ghosts of playoffs past  got taken back down to reality in game three’s loss.

Everyone was disappointed but no one was surprised by the Angels winning back at home.

The Yankees have been preparing for a fight and never expected this series to be any different. The Yankees could fluff their cushions by taking game four before heading back to the Bronx leading the series by two.

The game started on a high with our Captain blasting a solo shot into right field. Following Jeter was Arod and then Damon giving the Yankees a 3-0 lead.

Angels Vladimir Guerrero had been hitless for his last 11 plate appearances in a row. Guerrero’s 12th time was a wake-up call by hitting a 2-run blast.

Safe to say that this chump is out of his slump.

After Guerrero, the game was tied as Howie Kendrick hit a home-run the inning before so the game was 3-3.

The fourth Yankees solo homer, by Posada tied the game leading into extra innings.

Pettitte pitched well and should not take any heat because the Southpaw did his job. A solid performance for Pettitte overall. Continue reading ‘ALCS Game Three: Home Is Where The Walk-Off Is’ »

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A Chapter From The Yankees Biography: A Story Of Joes

Posted by on 12 October 2009, 4:27 am

With the playoffs in full swing, the possibilities begin to become realities.

Manager Joe Torre‘s Dodgers, focus is now on the NLCS as the team swept the Cardinals in three games to proceed onward.

Across the country another team with a chief named Joe accomplished the same.

Joe Girardi‘s Yankees followed L.A.’s lead tonight in Minnesota’s Metrodome by winning their third game against the Twins.


The possibility of Joe vs. Joe could happen and what a World Series that would be.

Two teams, two sweeps, two Joe’s who have much more in common then realized. These Joe’s own quite a history together.

Here is a little out of this chapter:

1) Both Joe’s Play.

Ironically, both skippers were catchers.

Torre batted and threw right as did Girardi.

Both were players in New York during their career. Torre played in Queens as a Met; Girardi in the Bronx wearing Yankee Pinstripes.

The selection as an All-Star only happened once for Girardi in 2000. On the other hand, Torre was an all-star nine times in a decade (1963-73), won a gold glove in 65′ and was the NL MVP in 1971.

Torre in comparison to Girardi was a more complete just a much better hitter but sadly never once made it to October as an active participant. For Girard, in a decade (1989-99) he played in six postseasons and won three World Series rings.

2) Joe manages Joe.

Girardi won those three World Series championships with Torre as his manager.

Torre preside over the Yankees in the late 90′s when Girardi was the team’s catcher.

Torre’s success as a skipper in October was the opposite of his playing years. With the Yankees he went 12 years in a row. He holds the evidence for MLB’s most winning manager with 2000+ wins.

3) Joe Follows Joe

When Girardi retired as a player, he went directly into broadcasting for the YES network in 2004.

The next year he the offer to be the Marlins bench coach with a promotion to manager guaranteed. Instead, he follows Torre and became his bench coach in 2005.

The next season Florida named Girardi manager and won Manager of the Year his first season as a skipper in 2006.

Marlins owner, and Girardi did not hit it off and he got fired in this same year.

Though Girardi had several offers to lead again in 2007, he decided to return to YES and broadcast for the Yankees.

4) Joe replaces Joe

Well, 2008 was the end of the Torre era in Pinstripe. It also marked the beginning for another Joe. In late October, Joe Girardi became the Bombers manager and Torre’s replacement.

Torre went to the Dodgers. Mattingly, and fellowship followed, but Tony Pena stayed on as Yankees bench coach for Girardi.

Girardi had said many a time that when named as Yankee head the first call he made was to Torre.

What makes this so extraordinary is that the Dodgers wanted Girardi to manage in L.A. but he wanted to work for the Yankees. This was just two years before Torre hires Girardi who passed on Dodger’s proposal.

Supposedly L.A. wanted Girardi so badly to be wearing Dodger blue that they offered him the job before ownership granted permission. Girardi said no to get the duty under his skipper in New York.

5. Joe on Joe.

After this soap opera of a link, both men have nothing but the highest regard and respect for each other.

Here are two quotes from this dynamic duo and their admiration for each other is evident.

Girardi on Torre:

“The great thing about Joe was that he let me say anything I wanted and I was never fearful of saying anything; that’s the greatest guy you can work for. Joe’s a very trusting guy. One of the big things I learned about him was his patience and the importance of knowing people.”

Torre in Girardi:

“He’s a good manager and he’s going to get better,” Torre said today. “I’m happy for him. … They’re a very good team.”

*Torre played first and third base during his career but is #15 on Top 50 Catchers of All-Time.

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A Fan’s Guide To The Eight Playoff Teams – Part 2

Posted by on 7 October 2009, 3:34 pm
Now onto the National League teams. The NL has four teams that will be playing to go to the World Series to face the winning AL team.
Here are the National League teams from a Yankee fan’s point of view. Once again listed in no particular order.
PART 2 – THE NATIONAL LEAGUE

1.Philadelphia Phillies
The Phillies are the defending World Champs and would love to repeat. The team works very well as a unit because players pick each other up in games when someone is struggling.The Phillies closer Brad Lidge has been far from the dominant closer he was in 2008. Skipper Charlie Manuel has shown confidence in Lidge but by keep ing him in his job but it has not paid off. Lidge blew 10 saves as of September. This will be a position likely to be filled by Brett Meyers. Meyers did well in the post before the season’s end. Lidge’s services will be utilized in less-pressuring situations, at least to open the playoffs. The closer component is vital to any baseball team’s success. Skipper Charlies Manuel has been around long enough to know what it takes to win. I am not to worried how the Phillies will handle this.Picking up Cliff Lee at the trade deadline (for scarcely anything considering what Lee’s arm is worth) to join Cole Hamels in the rotation. They are as reliable as a team one and two starters can get.The tandem with Joe Blanton most likely as the third will be a solid rotation.Phillies line-up is still very good with Rollins, Utley, Ibanez, Howard.
Are the defending champs good enough to repeat? That is a different story; guess we will find out soon.
2. St. Louis CardinalsThe Cardinals are could be the best team in the National League. Albert Puljos is the NL MVP and perhaps the best in the entire majors. He is what Jeter is to New York but in St. Louis. The Cardinals have two Cy Young Award possibilities in Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. This is the only team to have a one and two be Cy Young contenders. The mid season snatch of Matt Holliday to hit clean-up behind Puljos have both guys slugging over .600. Gold Glove catcher Yadier Molina is the brother of Yankees catcher Jose and is one of the best catchers. Yadier is the best-defensive catcher in the game. Runners do not attempt to steal as often and to score off a single from second base is out of the question when Yadier is controlling the game.
The Cards support it all on paper. Whether it gets used properly and effectively is another story. Continue reading ‘A Fan’s Guide To The Eight Playoff Teams – Part 2’ »

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Ending On A Sweep And The Yankees Will Weep

Posted by on 4 October 2009, 2:01 am

The Yankees are playing the last series in the regular season. A standard three games down in Tropicana Field against the Tampa Bay Rays.

Remember back when everyone thought the Rays were the team of the future in the American League East. The young group of players is talented to the point of terrifying. Tampa had MVP Evan Longoria playing, 2009 All-star MVP Carl Crawford and the older Upton brother, BJ in the outfield to name a few.

Tampa Bay Rays was the team who was on the way to making a name as a franchise in 2009.

Imagine being a Ray’s player and having the Evil Empire, come into your house. This was not supposed to play out like this furthermore pissed, frustrated, depressed was like a virus in the clubhouse.


The Rays have the nothing to gain as the team’s season is capped out. Last season it was Tampa, not New York heading into October and eventually to the World Series.

It is safe to say that beating the Yankees, hitting for a cycle, crushing CC Sabathia’s hope of a 20th win and possibly sweeping the Yanks right into the playoffs could not be a bad feeling for the Rays.

The Yankees lost to Tampa. Let me try that again, the Rays beat the Yanks to a pulp and it is surely not the way a team wants to enter the post season.

Regardless of resting more starters and getting the young bucks some playing time Girardi doesn’t want to lose. The skipper knows that losing and getting your ass kicked are entirely two separate scenarios.

Pettitte and Sabathia are surely not benefiting from bad starts preceding the pressure of the playoffs being next.

In the playoff’s, the first series is out of five games. The room for error is zero. It has been a hot topic to change it to seven games to make it a standard for October. This has not happened and it has been talked to death so hopes should remain low.

A seven game series at the least gives a team a minute to breathe and best pitchers can be available twice with more rest.

Point is the Yankees must outplay the Rays in the final game of the series, moreover of the season. A sweep digs deep for any team, at anytime, with not one constructive aspect ever coming after the embarrassment.
The Yankees need to shut-up this group of spoiled brats that have become the Tampa Bay Rays.

The other two losses can go away “when” the Yanks hammer the Rays on Sunday.

No credit needs to go to this group of Rays for what happens to the Yankees in the future.

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Everyone Knows That Joba Should Close

Posted by on 2 October 2009, 3:40 am

The Yankees are almost finished wrapping up a tremendously successful regular season.

Cashman and Girardi were baseball Einstein’s. Problems that arouse got fixed. And any looming questions from last season were obviously thought out by acquiring the players to fill holes in the roaster.

Girardi’s ‘outside the box’ thinking was just the refreshing change needed as evident by the downward spiral unraveling over the past few seasons. Must be very inspirational for the players to see the manager have such work ethic; it is a characteristic that legendary leader (coaches, managers etc) are made of.

The players look up to him and trust that what he asks of them is for the best of the team. Even failures individually are taken as a team. Girardi is clearly someone who the team respects as an equal and also as a friend.

The Skipper’s most successful change was flip-flopping Derek Jeter to leadoff and Johnny Damon in the #2 spot. Smart thinking for three reasons:

1. Brett Garner hitting at the bottom that splits two lefty bats.
2. Damon’s power in the two slot sets up for Texieria.
3. Captain Clutch is not his nickname for nothing besides his OBP being just higher than Damon’s.

Girardi decision worked out great.

As Jeter is having a season, which could be his most valuable, and Damon is maintaining his power bat by pounding homers make it official.

Now the question that has been a huge focus of baseball this season is still unanswered.

How to use Joba Chamberlain to be productive?

Unfortunately, for Joba it could not get worse. The blame in the end falls on his shoulders, which for a 23 year old that is a heavy weight.

Who gets the blame?

Not Joba, he was just doing as he was told. The gleams of hope due to one out-of-this-world performance made relentless efforts just become confusing.

All Yankee players know when their performance has hit a low point because the fans chime in. And at the stadium the fans were booing Joba as if he were the new Kyle Farnsworth of the team.

Safe to say that the infamous ‘Joba Rules’ caused a media guessing game and the debated still dominate the sports world.

Clearly Joba’s natural talents balance rarified air. The Yanks did not want to cave and put Joba in the bullpen. Hughes got tossed in the middle and he was nothing short of perfect.

Thus far, Hughes’s all around development is much more lucrative of a starter than Joba. Mentally and physically Hughes has matured and looks like a different player.

Surely the Yankees have to absorb some of the blame, if not all. Hughes was never treated with kid gloves but tossing him in the bullpen was because there was no other choice to keep him up on the major league level.

Hughes new position was the main reason for the team’s success but imagine if Joba had that success as a starter?

No point in daydreaming because the nightmare is making me not want to fall back to sleep.

Now everyone is asking is Joba can handle going to the bullpen?

Yes he can. More Crucially this might be the boost this special kid as a reminder of what he is capable of.

Joba thrives off the pressure of the environment, which has been on display since the last Yankee playoffs against the Indians.

The kid has the fierceness of closer. Hughes has the grace and poise of a starter. Hughes is confident which stems from not being paid attention too like his buddy. Figuring out how to get out of messy situations are so valuable, as you learn by experience. Hughes got left out there to hang what his arm dealt out and he is better for it.

Joba should go to the pen and not ever come back out. The knowledge that Mariano can give him next season is invaluable. Rivera as a mentor to Joba is crucial. Mo knows that he is human who makes mistakes and is calm around the hype. Joba is the hype and needs to learn otherwise or it could be detrimental to his future.

Surprising hard to find a fault the team with the best record in baseball and I hope the MVP too.

The reality of the situation is that Joba should go in the bullpen, permanently.

Imagine, could Joba be the crucial key on the road to a championship? Hughes was to the regular season so don’t count Joba out just yet.

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