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Sports Fans: You Can Thank Me Later

Posted by on 31 January 2010, 1:21 am

It’s almost time for baseball fans to get back to work, as the season is right around the corner. If you want something to pass your time with below is a website of spoof sports articles. Trust this fan that this is worth checking out. Please click on link below or read the humorous article mocking the Yankees below.

Serious Sports News Network

Here is an article from their classics section to give you an idea:

Yankees buy title

NEW YORK, NY — Despite the fact that George Steinbrenner’s Yankee organization has outspent most of the third world combined, they haven’t made it to the World Series in more than three years. With all else failing, the eccentric owner decided that enough was enough – instead of buying players to win a World Series, he has decided to simply buy the World Series Championship itself, leaving nothing to chance.

On Wednesday, Major League Baseball officials confirmed the sale of the 2007 World Series title to the Yankees for a reported $1.5 billion, with an option to purchase the 2008 title for an additional $2.5 billion. “It’s a great day for Yankees fans everywhere, and we feel that we got one hell of a bargain from the MLB. Top THAT Boston!” Steinbrenner hollered from TV screens around the country.

Specifics of the deal are still sketchy at the moment, but it seems the season will go on as planned. The Yankees will play their regular schedule this year; however, they will be given a 55 run lead at the start of every game and will set the starting lineup of their opposition. If that wasn’t enough, pitchers cannot throw over seventy miles per hour and must throw it directly down the middle of the plate.

Manager Joe Torre is letting the fans know that despite this obvious advantage, the team will face some challenges this season. “Owning the championship ahead of time will benefit us; I’m not going to lie about that. But one thing we can’t control is the weather, and everyone knows that can dictate the outcome of any game – even if you are winning by 55,” the skipper warned with a self-important smirk.

The Yankees will now be the first franchise in history to have a realistic shot at a perfect season, and will undoubtedly rewrite the record book as they progress through the year. The deal also allows the Yankees to name the World Series MVP now, and Steinbrenner decided to bestow the honor upon team captain Derek Jeter. “I’d like to thank Mr. Steinbrenner and MLB for this honor, and also my teammates for giving everything they- er, for everything they are going to give this season. It just goes to show you hard work does pay off,” Jeter told reporters in the locker room as he bounced a supermodel on his knee.

According to league sources, Alex Rodriguez was the runner up in MVP voting – with Steinbrenner predicting he will finish an astounding 24-24 at the plate with 22 home runs and 55 RBI – thereby vindicating himself for years of post-season failure. “Even though some fans have doubted me all these years, and screamed for the team to get rid of me, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I proved the kind of player I am. It’s going to be a very rewarding experience; one that I’ll cherish forever,” A-Rod said, wiping away tears of joy with hundred-dollar bills.

MLB also made an exception for first baseman Jason Giambi at the request of Steinbrenner: they will no longer test him for performance enhancing drugs and will allow Jose Canseco in the locker room as his personal trainer. “It’s about time the league wizened up and realized that fans love the raw Italian power that my natural supplements bring,” the pimply-faced slugger said as Jose plunged a syringe deep into his posterior.

Fans will have the opportunity to purchase Yankees 2007 World Series Championship merchandise starting on opening day at Yankee Stadium, or on MLB.com.

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Do The Yankees Still Want To Winn?

Posted by on 29 January 2010, 1:33 pm

The Yankees latest bargain pick-up is San Francisco Giants OF Randy Winn.

Pending only a physical, 35-year-old Winn will be a Yankee for one-season, earning $2 million dollars.

Winn’s 2009 season was one of his worst, hitting only two home-runs, 51 RBI, with 93 strike-outs and a .263 batting average in his 538 at bats for the Giants.

Acquiring Winn does nothing for the Yankees in terms of adding talent, other that he can play in all three OF slots. Cashman and Girardi can use Winn to tease Swisher and Garner in fighting for their spots on the field.

My question is why not just keep Melky? Why not support Matsui? Continue reading ‘Do The Yankees Still Want To Winn?’ »

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Like It Or Not, Boras Sweetens The Pot

Posted by on 27 January 2010, 8:52 pm

It’s pretty much official that Johnny Damon will not be ending his career in pinstripes or any other team for that matter.

Damon’s inflated head can be attributed to his agent Scott Boras.

Boras, sports agent to the stars, has bullied the Yankees in the past in attempts to get bigger contracts. As a professional and a loyal Angels fan, Boras knows the game and his greedy tactics take the love out of it for the clients.

In 2007 Boras convinced his client Alex Rodriguez to hit the free agency market because the Yankees were not seeing his $500 million dollar value. It’s safe to say that Arod agr

eed that this tactic to scare the Yanks into more money would never go as far as it did.

Boras broadcast-ed Arod’s opt-out during Game 4 of the World Series, which pissed off players and fans for good reason. Boras got the media’s attention on Arod but acting as if his client was bigger than baseball went to far. Continue reading ‘Like It Or Not, Boras Sweetens The Pot’ »

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Come On And Get Ready….

Posted by on 26 January 2010, 3:05 pm

Are you ready for some football?

Well, start preparing because football is serving the sports word on a silver platter, with a championship game promising to be to a battle.

The New Orleans Saints will take on the Indianapolis Colts on February 7th in Superbowl XLIV in Miami, FL.

Just as the World Series, the two best teams are facing each other. Even orphan fans cannot help their intrigue because it’s the second best possibility to their own team competing.

Over the next two weeks football will get plenty of air-time and on this blog as well. So, I went digging to find some of my favorite memories from Superbowl‘s past.

No, not game highlights, but from the commercials, half-time shows and team shuffles. These minute slots can sell for millions or just be plain out entertainment.  These skits can be as memorable as the game itself. Continue reading ‘Come On And Get Ready….’ »

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NFL: If At First You Don't Predict, Try, Try Again

Posted by on 21 January 2010, 9:26 am

Last week, one out of the four NFL playoff games is all I predicted correctly. To be perfectly honest, picking the Vikings over the Cowboys was a sensitivity issue because I am a Giants fan.

It gave me that subtle reminder of why sports’ popularity never fades.

Quick recap of last week:

The Ravens handed the win to the Colts on a silver platter. Payton Manning is superb, but the Ravens just made mistakes. Ed Reed‘s interception gave a glimmer of hope, until he fumbled it right back to Indy.

The Jets played tough, simple football to beat the Chargers. Philip Rivers looked like a deer in headlights, but a well deserved victory for Rex Ryan‘s Jets.

The Cowboys were back to their former selves by not utilizing their running game. Relying on Romo’s authority doesn’t get the job done, as proven once again on Sunday. Green Bay’s defense took advantage of the Cowboys inadequate protection of Romo and a game when Favre continually hit his targets, easy win for Vikings.

New Orléans has their dominating Saints back again. On both sides of the football, the Saints prevailed. Reggie Bush has not played that well since college. The Saints defense made Kurt Warner‘s possibly last game one that he will not need to remember.

Now football fans enter the last weekend before the Superbowl. Here is my predictions:

JETS OVER COLTS…..It just sounds wrong even thinking it, but this Jets team is no joke.

The Jets have the scapegoat concepts edge, of already having gone further than expected. In turn all the uncertainty gives a teams the effort to prove the world wrong.

For the Colts to lose is not an option and would consider the season a disappointment. See, Payton Manning is the MVP and supposed to win the Superbowl, so anything else would be unreasonable.

The game is in Indiana, home of the Colts. Obviously because the Jets are the underdogs and that title comes with no advantages.

What is it, just luck that is about to run out? No, two negatives equal a positive and the Jets would love to show-up the gracious Colts in front of their fans.

In the last game of the regular season, Indy’s trusty vote in resting the starters to be more pressing than eliminating the Jets is an arrogant statement.

Do not forget that the Jets would not be here if Colts had won. That alone must piss a team-off Ryan and the Jets enough to win. Hell it pisses me off just thinking about it.

At this point, I have doubted Coach Rex Ryan enough and it is about time I started listening.

Final Score: 27-17

SAINTS OVER VIKINGS…..this has nothing to do with being a huge Kardashian fan, and more that the Saints have never been to the Superbowl in 43 years.

The Saints look unstoppable again.

Reggie Bush is on a mission. The defense shut down the Cardinals offense once they settled in, and again, Drew Brees looking together makes it a powerful formula to overcome.

Viking running-back Adrian Peterson is the foundation for the Vikings to win. Peterson has not carry by 100 yards in his last eight games and only ran 63 yards against the Cowboys. Peterson is like catching mercury but if he fumbles the efforts do not matter, and this week everything matter.

For the Saints, starting out strong against the run is crucial. Last week allowing the Cardinal’s Hightower to run 70-yards in for a touchdown in the first few minutes just that cannot happen against the Vikings. The defense only allowed 31 yards for the rest of the game last week, but missing assignments is intolerable.

The Vikings defensee is led by Jared Allen and overall a rugged, solid group. Allen & Co. love to disturb the QB’s progress, but against the Saints o-line will be a good match-up.

With all their best d-men healthy again, the Saints have the better defense in my opinion.

If Favre is ever going to ‘retire’, it would seem a Superbowl appearance would help. Favre’s having his most dominant term in 19-years. So far throwing for 37 touchdowns including 4 last week to beat Dallas, for a total throne of 4000+ yards. That is a 40-year old on a mission.

Favre’s not just on this quest. His old Packers teammate, Saints free-safety Darren Sharper (a baby in age at 34) was dumped by the Vikings last season and has made them kick themselves ever since. Sharper intercepted nine times, ran three in for touchdowns, totaling 376 yards returned which is a new NFL record. Both veterans, familiar with the other and something to confirm will be fun to watch.

Having the home field advantage gives the Saints their crazy fans. Regarding the noise, the Vikings play in the Metrodome (aka Metro-dump) the loudest place on earth. Just for baseball people, when the Tigers and Twins played that season-deciding game, the Tigers practiced with blasting music to get ready because the echo in the Metro-dump is unbearable.

Plain and simple is when the Saints have their A-game swagger; you would be hard pressed to get a better team or one that could win.

Final Score: 28-24

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Jets Pull Through, Feels Like Deja Vu

Posted by on 18 January 2010, 11:30 pm

Rex Ryan‘s contagious spirit is spreading across NYC, as J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets are just one win away from the Superbowl.

To even dream that the Jets would be playing the Colts in the AFC Championship was beyond unthinkable and just three weeks ago.

Well, the Jets should already be very proud, because this was long overdue for the ‘other’ team that plays at Giants Stadium.

For Giants fans everywhere it is a sweet reminder of just two years ago.

The Jets have the #1 defense, a young QB who’s becoming a leader, two-headed monster of running backs, last game of the season was against the #1 team and a coach who demands greatness.

Sound familiar?

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NFL: A Lady's Predictions

Posted by on 16 January 2010, 12:48 pm

Warner, Farve, Lewis, LT, Brees, P. Manning and the Jets. Regardless if your team is playing or not, the match-ups are all dramatic in their own right.

With the games just hours away, NFL fans everywhere cannot help their anticipation.

Here are my playoff picks:
(picks have been carefully picked by both fact and emotion)

Arizona Cardinals vs. New Orléans Saints – Saturday @4:30pm

This game will be a battle where the running games on both sides will be the deciding factor. Both Warner and Brees will pass and be successful at it. Warner is tough, again and Brees tends to struggle at the end of the season which he did again losing the last three regular season games. Brees needs to step it up for the Saints to have a chance and be the Brees from before Christmas.

If Beanie Wells (RB) can get by the Saints defense and put some solid yards on the board and presuming the defense can have another good week, Cardinals will win by a field goal.

GAME: Arizona Cardinals

Baltimore Ravens vs. Indianapolis Colts – Saturday @8:15pm

Manning vs. Lewis but for Baltimore to win safety Ed Reed will have to back Lewis by picking off the pass. Baltimore is hot and needs to start with he same dominance as against the Pats. LB Terell Suggs did not play in the regular season game against the Colts and if he can get to Manning the Colts will be in trouble.

Payton Manning is the main cause for the Colts as their defense, who needed the rest is ranked 24th in running defense and Ray Rice will blast by them if they are not perfect. Payton has not fared well in the playoffs when the Colts are not the Wild Card but history is in the past but it can affect a player’s mentality for the future.

Since I have said from being of the season, the Ravens will make the Super Bowl.
GAME: RAVENS

Dallas Cowboys vs. Minnesota Vikings – Sunday @1pm

Look, my emotions factor in because I am a NYG fan. Obviously, I cannot stand anything Dallas and I think Romo is over-rated.

Regardless, Brett Favre is better than Tony Romo. Favre should tire out the defense by giving the ball to Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor. Favre cannot get all fancy or start throwing it up for interceptions but the same goes for Romo too.

I have always said that the Cowboys need to run the ball more and then they will win. It worked last week against the Eagles and it is just far more reliable than Romo’s arm. Dallas is on the road which takes the pressure of 100,000+ screaming in your face and the teams seems to enjoy the lack of attention in other stadiums, pressure is off if they lose (till they get back to Dallas).

With Marion Barber coming off an injury, he did practice and is tough as nails of an RB. Barber back-ups are Felix Jones and Tashard Choice which give the Cowboys a three-headed monster that can exhaust any defense.

This will be a RB war and even with Peterson, with Barber healthier Dallas has a slight edge. This one is a close call.
GAME: VIKINGS

San Diego Chargers vs. New York Jets – Sunday @4:40pm

J-E-T-S, the most inspiring underdogs with a coach who has so much heart, you gotta love him. Rex Ryan is the answer the team and Jets fans finally found.

Heading into San Diego, where the Chargers have been quietly dismantling opponents, the Jets have the overall disadvantage. Mainly due to QB Mark Sanchez only being in his first season. Sanchez is great in his first year in NFL but he reminds me of Eli his first year or two. Sanchez needs to hand-off the football to the running game because interceptions need to be avoided at all costs.

The Jets offense can control themselves against the Charger defense. The question remains if the Jets Defense can cover San Diego’s Phillip Rivers and his arsenal of weapons.

The Jets have the #1 defense for a reason but Chargers TE Antonio Gates will be the difference maker because the Jets have to figure out who and how the D is going to cover him. Chargers WR Vincent Jackson will have his hands fill with the NFL’s best cornerback Darrelle Revis all over him. This frees up Gates and lets not forget about Darren Sproles, the LT Electric Glide, Legedu Naanee and Malcolm Floyd (aka. M-80 for his acrobatic moves at the height of 6’5).
GAME: CHARGERS


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