At Yankee Stadium, tolerance for the Hater-Fans is low. They are crass, loud, annoying, distracting individuals who’s loyalties are always in question.
Vazquez makes his third start on Tuesday against the Oakland A’s, and he needs to be solid. Vazquez is across the country, miles away from the Yankee Hater-Fan negativity and distraction.
Other Yankee Fans have high hopes that the separation works in his favor.
So what are the Hater-Fans going to do if Vazquez is successful during this road trip?
- (1) Nick Johnson is a viable #2, as he is useless on defense and the whole OPB stat is a lie. How annoying to be forced to watch Johnson walk so much or strikeout, while he gets paid a whooping $5.5 million bucks. This makes him lazily opulent, because how many times is a player going to be able to walk in a run? Let’s not forget he ran our Godzilla right out of town. Johnson is thick skinned and would be delighted to take on the Haters.
- (2) You will appreciate this two for one. Start to believe that the Red Sox are turning it around, even if it is untrue make it true for you. Next, get one or two stats where the Red Sox are ahead of the Yankees, preference is at your own discretion. Repeat those stats on a daily basis to other fans telling them the Yankees are the team that needs to improve. If this is not working, buy a kilt and begin to jig like a total ass in the hopes to spark Papelbon. Paps usually says something stupid to the media, especially when he is not pitching well. This kills two birds with one stone because you are hating the Red Sox in addition to your own team. So much negativity at once, running through your veins, is a Hater-Fans aphrodisiac.
- (3) This is a last resort, but desperate times might call for it. It’s simple, go after anyone wearing Alex Rodriguez fan-gear. This includes kids, women, animals, the elderly making no one safe. Escalating it to the number 13 itself, anyone with the last name Rodriguez or first name Alex, Al and finalize it anything that starts with the letter “a”.
Or you could stop being negative just for the sake of it. Take it as a warning from a die-hard fan, that anyone who claims loyalty to the Bombers better help or shut-up.
Unless you want to be blamed for 2010??
HEY VAZQUEZ – WE WILL BE CHEERING FOR YOU BACK HOME IN NEW YORK! YOU WILL DO GREAT!